Perfectionism is fear. Fear of being unlovable, incapable, disapproved of, or “defective.” Our pep talks aren’t always enough to dissolve this fear — in our child or in ourselves. Motherhood can kick up our own perfectionist tendencies. These fears ARE normal, but they don’t have to run the show for you OR your child. Laughter & play can help refuel a sense of confidence, especially when learning something new.
Do you feel defeated when your child says “I hate you”? The most important thing you can do is to focus on the emotion driving the behavior—not the behavior itself. You can do this through a process called co-regulation, allowing you to restore your child’s sense of safety within their nervous system and get you back on the same team once again.